Phone Calls
by Elysia 'Saiko' Ghosry
Summary: Random Phone calls between Marik and Bakura  Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

Cinder: Heyo peoples~ how have you all been~? Yeah, I know I've been dead for… however long, but I have good news! I've finished at least one chapter from all of my stories~

Shikura: …

Cinder: And a friend of mine helped me come up with this stories idea~

Shikura: …

Cinder: Also, anyone who has heard of AzuManga Daioh, There is an Ayumu Osaka Kasuga roleplayer on Failbook… sorry… Facebook… friend her~ She's nice~

Shikura: …

Cinder: Ignore Shikura… He's just sulking cause I'm changing my name again~

Shikura: First it was Blaze… then it was Cinder… Now its gonna be—

Cinder: *slaps him* Anyways, onto phone call number one~

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my phone…  
>Dad: Its mine…<br>Me: MINE I SAY!

* * *

><p>"Hello!? Bakura!? IS THAT YOU!?"<p>

"What, Marik!?"

"I almost got mugged!"

"*sighs* And how did you manage that?"

"Well… there was a guy who was giving me funny looks so I asked if he had a problem and he pointed to my wristbands, so then I said 'you wish you could afford these like I can, but you can't even afford food'… and then he tried to steal from me…"

"…" *hangs up*

"BAKURA! DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME!"

* * *

><p>Cinder: Like it~? Next phone call will happen soon~ You know, when I can be bothered stealing Marik's phone record~<p>

Marik: So that's how you found out about me and Bak—

Bakura: *covers Marik's mouth*

Cinder: *giggles* anyway, Bye for now, not forever~


	2. Chapter 2

Cinder: …

Shikura: …

Marik: …

Bakura: …

Disclaimer: …

* * *

><p>"Bakura!"<p>

"Yes, Marik…"

"Bakura, I fell of my computer chair."

"*laughs*"

"Don't Laugh, Bakura! It was a near-death experience!"

"…Sure it was~"

* * *

><p>Bakura: …<p>

Marik: …

Shikura: …

Cinder: … =^.^= Kitty face~ X3


	3. Chapter 3

Cinder: X3

Marik: … I cant believe you managed to find this one…

Disclaimer: I like dressing up~

* * *

><p>"BAKURA! HELP ME!"<p>

"What…?"

"I'M STUCK!"

"… How so?"

"I CAN'T GET THIS CORSET OFF!"

"…"

* * *

><p>Bakura: How <em>did<em> she get that?

Marik: *glares at Cinder*

Cinder: I'M POWERFULL! :3


	4. Chapter 4

Cinder: Back~! Want some more~? Here~

Disclaimer: CHEESE~!

* * *

><p>"Bakura!"<p>

"What is it?"

"I almost drowned!"

"And how did you manage that?"

"Well, I was drinking and the water tasted funny so I coughed."

"… Sometimes I wonder about you Marik…"

* * *

><p>Cinder: R~ And~ R~ PLEASE~ *Has been drinking Lemonade*<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Cinder: …zzzz…

Bakura: we should kill her while she sleeps. Then she can't post any more of our phone calls!

Marik: … *points to computer screen*

Disclaimer: I spent 12 minutes writing 'Disclaimer' XD

* * *

><p>"Bakuuuuuuuuuraaaaaaaa!"<p>

"What do you want now?"

"I'm boooooooooored!"

"Are you still there, Bakuuuuuuuuuuuraaaaaaaa?"

"…Marik…"

"Yes~?"

"It's 3 In the bloody morning…

"So~?"

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING UP AT THIS HOUR!?"

"Jeez, Bakura! There's no need to yell. Its 3am you know. People are trying to sleep." *hangs up*

"…"

* * *

><p>Marik: WHAT THE!?<p>

Bakura: SHE'S ASLEEP! HOW THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN WORK!

Cinder: *opens an eye and clicks a remote to turn the computer off*

Marik: *glares*

Bakura: *glares*


	6. Chapter 6

Cinder: I Love Izaya~ He's pretty~

Kiara: You say that about everyone.

Cinder: …

Kiara: I'm right aren't I?

Cinder: … But… Shizuo is pretty too~

Kiara: *raises eyebrow*

Cinder: And Shizuo and Izaya together is smexy~

Kiara: …

Cinder: *points at her* Learn the difference!

Kiara: *facepalm*

* * *

><p>"Hello?"<p>

"Bakura! Is that you?"

"… How did you get this number?"

"I asked Steve. Anyway, What are you doing tonight~?"

"I'm busy."

"How about tomorrow night~?"

"Busy."

"Any night this week?"

"I'm always busy. Why? What do you want Marik?"

"Oh… I was just going to ask you out… but whatever…" *hangs up*

"…WHAT!?"

* * *

><p>Cinder: *grinning like an idiot*<p>

Kiara: Hey… isn't that from…

Cinder: Yes… no… maybe… no… yes-no… My final answer… Maybe~!

Kiara: *sighs and facepalms* Read and review… please…


	7. Chapter 7

Cinder: *holding several phones* Um… One of them is ringing but I don't know which one… so you guys just read… and I'll figure out which one it is~

* * *

><p>"Hello~? Marik speaking."<p>

"Marik."

"Oh… It's you. About the calls last night. Just ignore them… I… um… wasn't in… um… the right mind… At the time…"

"Marik."

"Y-yes, Bakura?"

"You're a terrible liar. *chuckles*"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

"Anyway! You called? Is there something you wanted? I'm kinda busy."

"Yes there is something I wanted."

"…Yes?"

"Are you busy tonight?"

"Um… I'll… Um… I'll have to check…"

"*chuckles*"

"Sorry to disappoint you, But I'm busy."

"Tomorrow night?"

"Busy."

"Well, what about Saturday?"

"Busy that night too. But I think I might be able to squeeze you in between taking a bath and eating lunch on Sunday"

"Great, then. It's a date." *hangs up*

"A what! Wait! Who said anything about me wanting to date you! Bakura! Are you listening to me?"

* * *

><p>Cinder: *now holding several crushed phones* Problem solved~! Anyway, I hope you like it~ I didn't personally hear this conversation, my sister did. Anyway, read and review~<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Cinder: I have a laptop~ It is shiny~ x3

Marik: Is THAT where you've been hiding our Phone history?

Cinder: :P It's one of the many places that I've hidden them, yes~

Bakura: You mean… there's more than one copy?

Cinder: Of course! Duh! I'm not Bella!

Bella: Thanks~

Cinder: She doesn't even take offence to that!

* * *

><p>"Hello?"<p>

"Marik…"

"Oh, hey, Bakura! You don't sound very happy."

"That's because I'm not very happy."

"Why not?"

"Marik… Do you know what day it is today?"

"Yeah, it's Sunday. Geez, Bakura! Don't you ever look at a calendar?"

"I should be asking you that, Marik. Bacause if today is Sunday, and it's lunchtime, what does that mean?"

"That I should be eating lunch?"

"Bzzt. Wrong answer, try again. Think back a few days ago to our last phone call."

"…Oh…"

"Yes, Marik. Oh, indeed."

"I'm sorry?"

"Sorry doesn't cut it, I'm afraid, Marik. You stood me up. I'm here at your house at the designated time and you don't appear to be home. Why is that Marik?"

"…"

"Marik, don't ignore me!"

"…"

"Why. Aren't. You. Home?"

"… Because I'm standing right behind you?"

"Do you mean to tell me that you are standing right behind me in front of your house, and if I turn around, you'll be there?"

"Pretty much! I'm sorry I'm late, Bakura. I went to town to quickly pick up some meat. I know exactly how you like it!"

"… You mean… you didn't forget?"

"Why would you think I had forgotten? Now can we hang up these phones and go inside? I'm freezing my ass off her!"

* * *

><p>Marik: I'm glad we hung up the phones after that, Bakura. Otherwise Cinder wouldv'e found out about our little kissing session.<p>

Bakura: …

Marik: … Oh EFF it…

Cinder: See! That's why I favour you over Bakura, Marik. Because you tell me everything without meaning to~ See y'all next time for some more phone calls!


	9. Chapter 9

Cinder: I just want to say, thankies for the reviews so far! I'm glad to say that I will continue writing these up and continue to find the funniest ones.

Marik: What if we don't want you to post our conversations on the internet?

Cinder: *grins* You don't get a say!

Bakura: Do I?

Cinder: Nope~ You were mean to me before :L

Melvin: Me?

Cinder: Nope~

Bella: ICECREAM!

Cinder: …Not you either…

Shikura: Me?

Cinder: You always get a say~

Bella: But he's stupid!

Everyone: COMING FROM YOU!

* * *

><p>"Hello?"<p>

"Bakura! I'm so glad you called!"

"Marik, you called me."

"Yes yes, don't sweat the details. I have something _really_ important to tell you!"

"Does it have something to do with defeating the pharaoh?"

"No, but—"

"Then I'm not interested."

"No, but, WAIT Bakura! It's more important than the Pharaoh!"

"What could be more bloody important than that?"

"How about, I won us a trip around the world for free! And it required no stealing!"

"… And how did you come across this… Trip?"

"Well, I was on YouTube, as usual, and suddenly it popped up and—"

"And by 'it' you mean the trip, right?"

"No, the quiz to win the tickets for the trip! Anyway, there were only three questions, and get this Bakura! They were so easy, even Tristan could've passed it! *laughs*"

"You do realise that it was made to be easy… because it's not real, right?"

"Of course it's real! Why would it be on the internet if it wasn't real?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because it's a great way to hack into your computer, steal your valuable information, give you virus', ect,ect?"

"…Virus'?"

"Yes Marik. Viruses. Just like the one you received upon opening that email last week. And I'll be damned if you didn't get a virus through this 'free trip'."

"So you're saying… that the tickets are a lie?"

"That is precisely what I'm saying."

"But… I don't understand…"

"Here's a way of understanding it. People are greedy, and when they see a 'free item' they immediately want it. It's usually the really brainless humans that fall for a little trick like that though."

"…Did you just call me stupid?"

"No. I just stated that you're brainless."

"Oh. Okay then. So… Now what do I do?"

"*sighs* Because I don't trust your skills with a computer… or any other electrical device, I'll be there shortly to fix it up…"

"Okay. Thanks Bakura. Oh, and one more thing."

"Hurry up…"

"Do you want me to turn my computer off, or leave it showing the blue screen?"

"*sighs*I'll be there soon…" *hangs up*

"Wait! What do I… Gah! I hate it when you hang up on me, Bakura… Hey! Brainless is an insult!" *slams phone down*

* * *

><p>Cinder: Virus' are cool~<p>

Marik: Not the virus you gave me!

Cinder: *shrugs and grins* I told you not to open it~

Bakura: Did you really think he would listen?

Cinder: Oh, I knew he wouldn't listen~ I just said it so you guys can't say I didn't warn you~

Bella: Hamburgers!

Shikura: Yes, we'll get you a hamburger now… *pats her head*

Cinder: Anyway, guys, Please~ Read and Review~ I love to hear what you guys think of these and all of my other tales~


	10. Chapter 10

Cinder: True story~

Bella: Yep~

Disclaimer: COWS!

* * *

><p>"BAKURA! HELP ME!"<p>

"Again? What is it this time?"

"I cant put Photos on my iPod."

"Whats wrong with it?"

"I don't know how to put them on!"

"Have you tried the Photos button?"

"Theres a Photos button!?"

"..."

"BAKURA! ARE YOU STILL THERE!?"

"OF COURSE IM STILL HERE YOU FOOL!"

"Okay, I clicked the photos button. Now what?"

"Choose a folder."

"... but when I click on it, nothing comes up!"

"Are you double clicking?"

"Yes."

"Don't."

"Okay. Now what."

"Have you chosen the folder?"

"Yep!"

"Now, click select folder."

"What do you mean, select folder? I've already selected the folder I want!"

"I meant click the button select folder!"

"Theres a select button folder? ... I mean, select folder button?"

"Have I told yu how much I hate you?"

"That means love, right?"

"... Just click the damn button..."

"Where is it?"

"Next to the cancel button."

"theres a cancel button too!?"

"..."

"kidding! I knew there was a cancel button!"

"... You didn't know, did you?"

"... Where's the cancel button?"

"look for it."

"I am looking..."

"Where are you looking?"

"At the top, where the photos button used to be."

"Look lower."

"Okay..."

"Lower..."

"Bakura, how low down do I have to go to—oh, there it it!... I clicked it, now what?"

"What button did you click?"

"The cancel button, duh!"

"..." *hangs up* He'll redial...

*phone rings* "Yes, Marik?"

"Wow, Bakura! How'd you know it was me?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you're the only one that has my number?!"

"Cool! You have, like, a spider sense, or something!"

"...No... Just, no..."

"Anyways, I need your help."

"I know you do."

"Wow! You know everything about me! What am I thinking right now?"

"Static."

"Nope, your wrong. I'm thinking about icecubes!"

"...close enough. Re-do everything I told you before."

"Kay!..."

"Only, this time, click Select Folder."

"kay, now what."

"now you sync it."

"Is there a button for that too?"

"Yes.. Its called Apply."

"There seems to be a button for everything these days. I wonder if theres a cheeseburger button..."

"Click apply."

"Okay! ...O M G Its doing something!"

"Leave it alone for a bit and it will work."

"Thanks, Bakura! Youre the best!"

"Do you realise how much the phone companys gong to love you? Or how large your bill will be?"

"What do you mean?"

"The amount of times you've called me would cost you a fortune."

"Oh, no, Bakura. Not me! I use 1800 Reverse!" *hangs up*

"..." *hangs up*

* * *

><p>Cinder: True story~<p>

Bella: Yep~


	11. Chapter 11

Elysia: Soooo... Like, I changed my name. Again. Cause I can :'D

Bella: Hello pimples of earth!

Elysia: Anyways, we gave it lots of thoughts, and we decided that we're gonna continue listening in to Marik and Bakura's phone conversations! *coughs* after kinda… forgetting to record some ages ago… and forgetting how funny they were…

Bella: I'm too smart for this.

Elysia: You're literally like 10 compared to me, that's not very smart.

Bella: stOP TALKING!

Elysia: -_-''

* * *

><p>*Barbie girl ringtone * *answers the phone* "-WRAPPED IN PLASTIC! ITS FANTASTIC!"<p>

"Marik."

"YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR!"

"Marik…"

"UNDRESS ME EVERYWHERE~!"

"… Marik, I swear to god."

"… OH! Hi Bakura! Hows it going?"

"Please tell me you were just singing and not actually inviting me to 'undress you everywhere', as you put it, because I will hang up the phone right now if—"

"yOU HEARD THAT!? I THOUGHT I DIDN'T CLICK THE BUTTON YET O M G!" *hangs up*

"Marik? … Marik, what the bloody hell?" *hangs up*

* * *

><p>Elysia: Well… That's the first recording we managed to get after Marik got a new phone.<p>

Bella: Bakura should have just undressed him everywhere.

Elysia: I would agree with you, but…

Bella: Because he's a Barbie girl.

Elysia: Um?

Bella: In a Barbie world.

Elysia: …?

Bella: BYE PIMPLES OF THE EARTH!


End file.
